My quest…

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
— Max Lucado

God’s already begun the work to get me there!  I’m so excited for him to lead me to the next door He has ready!

Reflecting…

I’m not sure why but I’m very reflective today… I keep thinking back to my pick up trip 3 years ago right now.  All the details are still so fresh.  I flew in on Weds of that week, Madalynn was placed with me on Thursday, we had our embassy day on Friday, my Dad flew in on Saturday, I got Madalynn’s passport on Monday, and we flew home on Tuesday… that time was so precious.   This also got me looking back at pictures from that trip, and the trips before… those trips are more than precious to me.

First trip August 2007… she was such a tiny peanut… 6 weeks old.  I had no idea what to do with a baby… I was so glad my Mom & Dad were with me.  Amazing how Mommy instincts took over.  I was a pro at sterilizing bottles in a hotel bathroom sink (thanks to the advice of other Moms who had traveled before).  There was a crib at the foot of my bed in the hotel room… I had her in there the first night, but each time I’d get up to feed her I’d just end up putting her in bed with me, so that’s what happened.  Her arm would reach over each night for me.  When it came time to leave I was fighting a double tooth infection, and now was doing the ugly cry as I handed her back to her foster mom.

 

2nd trip Thanksgiving 2007… There were lots of questions regarding Guatemala adoptions at this time, and strong predictions they would be shut down as of Dec 31, 2007.  Those of us in process weren’t sure if our cases would be grandfathered or part of the shutdown… I went down for Thanksgiving because I missed her, and had a mothers ache to see her.  Thankfully, cases were allowed to continue, and she came home in March 2008.  Unfortunately, there are still hundreds of ‘grandfathered’ cases still awaiting that precious pick-up trip to bring their children home.  Sadly, Guatemala is still shut down to international adoption, and no new cases have taken place.  Guatemala now suffers from the highest malnutrition rate in Central America… 2nd only to Africa internationally.

I also took the opportunity of this trip to take pictures for our Christmas card… after all my single years I was so excited to finally send out a ‘family’ card….

I LOOOOVED this dress… I still have it.  She didn’t like the camera even then.

Then the pick up trip… 3 years ago this week… I can’t imagine my life without this spunky, headstrong, goofy, attack life at full speed girl!

 

 

LOOOOK at those piggy toes….

On the airplane… heading to America!!!

 

On the job front… I’m not sure what is in store, but I have such a peace, and feel as if God is just holding us right in the palm of His hand.  He knows our needs before we even ask for them!  Of course, I think this would be awesome timing for my Kinsman Redeemer to show up… but my time is not God’s time.

Forever & Ever Day #3

Today is our 3rd forever & ever day…. Ohhhhh how I love this girl, and being her Mommy… I ask her almost everyday “How did I get so blessed to be your Mommy?”…. I also ask her when she wakes up “Did you grow more cuteness while you were sleeping?” as she gets cuter to me everyday (I know that’s boastful, but I’m a proud Mom, and this is my blog).

To celebrate our special day I took her to “The Children’s Museum” in Boston…I got passes at our library so the cost fit into my now unemployed budget.  She had a ball!! 

 

Her favorite exhibit combined 2 of her favorite things… WATER (she would spend HOURS playing in the sink if I let her), and “Peep & The Big Wide World”.

 

Of course there was her other favorite activity… CLIMBING….

When we went into the bathroom… she got sooooo excited…”Look Mommy… they have a sink MY size”…. well… almost.

Then we were leaving it was really warm out… almost 50!!  There were some ducks & a swan in the water, and Madalynn loved throwing chunks of ice in the water (NOT at the water fowl)…

Tonight we’re having dinner with the family & a small cake…. Happy Forever & Ever Day baby girl!!

Being held up…

God is holding me up… not just emotionally, and spiritually, but physically as well.  I lost my job yesterday.

God knew this was coming long before I did, and as I reflect back I see His preparing a support system to surround me, and hold me up… I feel such peace…. some in the world would call it denial… but I know it’s peace.  That’s not to say I don’t have moments when the fear, and doubt creep in,  I was awake for several hours last night, but I’m able to fight them back with the peace.  I’ve had counsel from 2 different sources in the last 24 hours that have said …. lean in to Him…stay close to Him… rest your head on His shoulder…. so that’s what I’m choosing…. trusting this …another closed door is His faithfulness keeping me on the path He has laid out for me before the stars were hung in the sky.

The Steven Curtis Chapman song is in my heart & mind tonight… “Be Still & Know” … if you’ve never heard this song track it down on youtube, or itunes… it’s quite powerful.  This is the verse I’m clinging to…

Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for his little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still
Be still

Just to leave a little Madalynn luv… This is the face we get when she wants something… a smile… tilt of the head… her hands are usually clasped too… and a big…. “Peeezzzze”….

One other sad note… Nemo (Madalynn’s little beta fish) left this world today… she wasn’t too traumatized… although at bedtime she kept saying… “I miss Nemo… he was such a good little fish….”  A picture from the day we got him.  Thanks for being such a good little fish Nemo….