To Curious George we go...

Madalynn's surprise today was I took her to see "Curious George Live"... she was mesmerized with everything, it did get a little boring for her about halfway through she told me she wanted to go 'Buh-Bye", I thought the intermission would help, but we left shortly thereafter... I won't go into all the drama around 1)finding the theater, and 2) getting back in the parking garage that was locked when we came out of the show, in a not so nice part of town, but it all worked out in the end.

A little love for George...

I've never been able to really find jeans for her, and I just love this pair!!  They fit reasonably well too (still have a waistline shortly below the buddah-belly) but they don't seem too uncomfortable... it cracks me up b/c they're the kind you can roll up to make capri, or leave down for full length... as you can see on her rolled up capri is full length...

Watching the show.... I wish I could have gotten a little further away to get this shot, but she wouldn't let me leave her side...

730 part 2...

We didn't do anything particularly special today... basically just spent the day together.  I had to work for a few hours this morning, then we went to Target, Wal-Mart, and for a quick visit at Ga-Ga & Grandpa's.  Tomorrow is our real celebration day... I haven't told her what we're doing yet, but that it's something special, then some family are coming over for cake & ice cream.

I tried to get some pictures of her at my parents new apartment... The house has great character for photos, and she was sooo uncooperative I couldn't really get the lighting right... which was amazing, but she wasn't letting me adjust the settings on my camera before running off....

My Mom bought her some new sneakers or 'Neekers' as Madalynn calls them, and I think she would sleep in them if I let her.  I so remember that feeling when I was little of how exciting it was to get new shoes...

You can see them a bit in this picture... notice she's running AWAY from the camera...

Even better in this picture...

Enjoying her Munchkin or "Magnic" as she calls it after we left Wal-Mart.... there's a Dunkin Donuts IN our Wal-Mart...

Not an eventful day, just a day of being together... it was wonderful... Tonight as she was brushing her teeth she said "I had a great day Mumma"...

All day I've been thinking ok... at this time 2 years I was...I so clearly remember that feeling of getting back to our room after I picked her up... wondering how things would go, wondering if she would become hysterical being with this stranger.  I so remember her fussyness, and pushing away from me, not screaming, wailing crying, more of just being fussy, and not accepting comfort... she did eventually fall asleep, and then we had a repeat at bedtime.  Each day got better, and I started getting smiles... so much of that trip is so precious to me... Things I will keep in my heart and treasure. 

 

730 Days...

730 days= 2 years... that's how long Madalynn & I have been together.  Two years ago today in a small room off the lobby of the Westin Hotel in Guatemala City her foster mother handed this little baby in turquoise overalls with pink roses to me, and nothing has been the same since. 

We have a few celebrations planned for this weekend... I can't wait!!  So many emotions it's such a special day in the adoption journey...I'll post more later.  Hopefully (keep your fingers crossed) I'll be able to get a self portrait later....

Her heart...

I worry about my daughter's heart... what mother doesn't?  I pray she'll have a heart that hunger, and thirsts for God, I pray she'll have a heart that will remember the moments of uncontrolled giggles, and playtime, a sense of warmth, joy, and security from her growing up years.  I pray she won't remember the moments when her Mommy gets angry or impatient.

As a child who was adopted she's suffered two losses of caregivers already in her young life.  First the loss of her birthmother.  A mother who carried her for 9 months, a woman she got to know.  She spent 9 months learning her birthmothers moods, voice, laughter, and tears.   Then the loss of her foster mother who cared for her for nearly the first 8 months of her life.  She was a part of that family unit for those 8 months.  Her first Christmas was with them, sharing in their customs, and traditions.  I am always mindful of these 2 early influences in her life.

While I no longer worry about her attaching & bonding to me, I feel very confident in our bond.  I do worry about how those early losses will affect her.  I wonder sometimes if some of her behavior stems from that on some level.  Will she struggle with fear of me leaving, or will she become fiercely independent as a defense mechanism? 

Last night after she'd fallen asleep I heard her say (yes she talks in her sleep)... "Wait for me!"...hearing her little voice say that, just cut through me, brings tears even now.  I knew it had something to do with a dream she was having, and I know dreams are a reflection of what's going on internally.  She does say that phrase often... she ALWAYS says it when I want to run in the basement quick for something...Maybe she was just having a dream that I was going in the basement, and she wanted to come with me, even so it was obviously on her mind.  One thing is for sure... from now on I will ALWAYS wait for her when I go in the basement.

I want to do everything in my power to continually reassure her that I'm her 'forever & ever' Mommy...  I want to be a better mother... I want to be a kinder mother.  That's the prayer for MY heart.