One year ago today...

I was looking back on my other blog, and it was 1 year ago today that I got the notification that all my paperwork had been approved, and I was now officially on the waiting list for a baby girl.

"I was in the grocery store when my cell phone rang, and I got the news. I then proceeded to try to make it through the rest of my grocery shopping without bursting into tears. Then when I got in my car I called my Mom & burst into tears with her :-). "

12 weeks, and 5 days later I saw Madalynn's picture for the first time. It all seems like a distant memory now. All my years of waiting, and longing were for God to work out leading me to 'my' daughter. She was conceived in prayer, and a dream in my heart. Look at my little peanut at 2 weeks old!!

Just Living Life...

This weekend was rainy & raw in New England, so Saturday was a cozy day at home with Madalynn & I... just hanging out. She is crawling all over, and now really picks up steam when she sees something she wants. She also will now hug a stuffed animal if prompted. It is so sweet. She was holding her classic Pooh bear, and I took him, and gave him a hug, and said 'Aww... hug Pooh', and handed him back to her, she put her little arms, tiny chubby hands around him, and rested her chin on top of her head, and gave him a squeeze. Too much cuteness for Mommy.

Then Sunday we went to the nursing home to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday!! It was a very nice day for Grandma Betty. While we were there my nieces Kassie & Jessica taught Madalynn how to clap.

I'm seeing great signs in her attachment. When she first came home, and I would hold her front to front, she would always arch her back, and her legs would curl back too, away from me. Gradually she stopped doing this (almost without me noticing), and now she will form to me Just within the last week when she's really tired she'll snuggle her head on my shoulder. I love it.

Here are just some random pictures. They convince Mommy it's time for a new camera. My film camera has hit the skids, and I've even sent it out to be repaired with no success. Yes, I still shoot film and will be dragged into the digital age kicking & screaming. I LOOOVE film, I know film, I get how to manipulate film... digital not so much. I did buy a point & shoot digital a few years ago just so I would have a small camera to carry when I go out, etc, but I've always hated it. Most pics I've put on my blog have been from that camera, or my Mom's digital camera. However, I think it's time to get the big guns with a digital SLR that I can use all my fun lenses with, and get back to shooting pictures I can be proud of.

I would open this up to suggestions of which digital SLR to purchase as I know photographers are loyal to their brands. That said, I am no exception, and will be sticking with Pentax. I've always loved my Pentax, and I'll be able to use all those fun lenses with it. Now, if I could just find a store that carries Pentax...

You can see her new rug in this picture that I picked up last weekend. Every time her cousins came over they told me that she needed a rug to go over the hardwood in her bedroom. Apparently this is one of those deep philosophical truths that only kids know because they told me EVERYTIME they came over. After we got it put down Madalynn wasn't too sure. She'd sit there, and didn't want to put her hands on it. She'd start to lean forward to crawl, and just couldn't put her hands down... it was so funny. Then she'd just sort of tap it with her open palm. Which is funny because she always loves touching & feeling new textures.

Okay, Mommy... I'm bored with the camera... I'll see you later.

Hanging out with Grandpa before the party... don't worry Grandpa... I have a pretty dress to wear... these are just my sweats.

Notice Madalynn's Buddah Belly!!!

I can't believe tomorrow is 8 weeks we've been home, and 9 weeks we've been Mommy & baby girl. I keep telling people that this is better than I imagined it would be.

I know several families through my agency in particular that are still in process anxiously waiting for their little ones to come home to their forever family. Please keep these families & their adoption cases in your prayers if you think of it. Living in that time is like being a state of suspended animation.

I've also just heard that Vietnam will be closing to adoptions in September. This just saddens me so much as it seems as if adoptions are getting more difficult. It disheartens me when I hear of any country closing or increasing adoption restricitions. I know God holds each of these precious little ones in the palm of His hand, but they need forever earthly families too.

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Thank you to all who gave me input on my 'HUNT' for toys. I did find the magnets I was talking about (numbers, not letters). I think the quality has declined since I was young, as all they did was slide down my freezer door. So, for right now I'm going to hold off on magnets, and will look for some down the road. I also struck out on the plastic pots & pans, and ended up just getting her a little grocery basket with food in it. Which she just loves, and we keep it in that cabinet, and that's the only time she plays with it.

Now on to the good, the bad, and the ugly;

THE GOOD: On Tuesday I took Madalynn to the international adoption clinic at Tufts Medical Center in Boston for an evaluation. She is doing great they said, she is between 8-12 months on her various developmental stages (I won't go into where she is on which development), but she is doing great. The two areas she was 8 months were both language related which is to be expected having spent the first 7 months of her life hearing another language almost exclusively. They said they don't need to see her again because she's doing so well. We talked quite a bit about attachment, and bonding, and how she & I can continue to build that trust. Exercises we can do, and what I should keep doing that I already am.

THE BAD: Oyyyy... all I can say is Boston in the pouring rain with an infant is NOT FUN!! We left our house at 9:00am, and got home at 4:00pm, and that included a bad Mommy who decided not to stay for the bloodwork after being there for 3 hours, and having a baby that was overtired, and hungry.

They have valet parking there which I thought would be convenient (again imagine a 9 month old in the pouring rain in downtown Boston). However, when the valet finally brought my car (after 20 minutes in downtown Boston in the pouring rain with an infant) he parked it not under the protective overhang but out in the street (did I mention it was downtown Boston in the pouring rain with an infant?), then stood there politely holding my door open for me... well that's well & good but I wasn't going to pull a Britney Spears, and put Madalynn on my lap, so I had to wheel her around to the other side of the car (in the street, and did I mention it was pouring rain?) get her buckled, then go around to the back of the car, and get her stroller in & then back around where the nice valet was STILL holding my door open so that my seat & door were now soaking wet, because, in case I didn't mention it, it was pouring rain. I did give him a growl as I gave him his tip (yes I tipped him).

As I've thought about my annoyance of this situation I've been convicted that I could have handled it better, and not been so annoyed. After all he was standing in the pouring rain too, and had been all day I'm sure. Not one of my best moments, but maybe the Lord will help me to remember to be more gracious in the future.

... and now for THE UGLY; My hair after being in the pouring rain in Boston.

I'm adjusting to being back at work, and Madalynn & I have a really nice routine. I still miss her every second I'm there, and count down the hours until I'll see her again, but I'm very peaceful knowing she is home with my Mom.

Now just some pics of 'My Brown Eyed Girl' from this past weekend. I got this shirt on ebay a couple months ago & got her a 12 month hoping it would fit this summer, all I can say is 'Look at that belly!!' which I say to her many times throughout the day. I don't think she'll be wearing it this summer...

On the hunt...

Okay...I am on the hunt for 2 toys for Madalynn, and silly me thought these would be easy things to find...who knew??

I always try to have Madalynn with me wherever I am in the house & whatever I am doing. If I'm home... she's with me. I miss her so much when I'm at work that I just want to spend every second with her when I'm not there. Anyway... I digress.

So, if I'm in the kitchen I used to put her in her high chair or exersaucer, well now that she's more mobile she gets more fidgety in these 2 things than she used to, so now I put her on the floor, and let her play. She has discovered the cabinet with the pots & pans, and the freezer (freezer on the bottom of my fridge).


So I would like to find those old refrigerator magnets with #'s & letters that we had when we were growing up to put on the freezer for her to play with AND, some plastic pots & pans to put in that cupboard for her to play with.... who knew these items would be so difficult to find?? I can find stainless steel & wood pots & pans but no plastic (again like I had when I was little my pot was orange with a yellow lid & a smiley face painted on it... I think it was 'Fisher-Price' I loved my little set & played with it all the time. That was until my brother took it to his treefort & left it in the middle of the woods, and ruined it. No... I'm not bitter... why do you ask??). Again... I digress.

I have searched online, Target, ToysRUs, ebay, the grocery store and I can't find these items... any suggestions anyone? Help a new Mom out.

Grandparents Early B-Day

I think grandparents should have quite a liberal license when it comes to their grandchildren. Let's face it, they've put in the years of worry, discipline, sleepless nights, and turning gray haired raising us... they've earned the right to spoil their grandchildren.

So, today when I mentioned that I found this little swing set Madalynn's size & it is self standing (I can't install one b/c I live in a condo). I said to my Mom, I was thinking of it for her birthday & her response was, "Well, Grandma & Grandpa will get it for her as an early present, and then something 'little' for her to open on her birthday". Let me just remind you that her birthday is 3 months away, and I'm sure Ga-Ga & Grandpa will get her a 'little' something to open on her actual birthday ;-)

Fast-forward 4 hours & we have this...

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This steering wheel seemed to be her favorite thing... she wasn't too sure about the slide. It's sooo cute, and fun.

Then I left her with Grandpa to play for a little while. When Grandpa came inside he said that she had trouble figuring out grass... she'd just kind of hover her open palm over it & tap it. Seeing as I'm not an outdoorsy kind of girl, Mommy was very glad to hear this. I said "That's my girl!!". We enjoy just looking at nature.

Yesterday, I tried to get a picture of her in her dress after church (BTW, just in case anyone is keeping track she has worn 3 of her sundresses, and has 12 left... good thing it's a long summer).

It was next to impossible for me to get a pic of her in her dress.... she wanted to crawl... I think it was being cooped up at church & her carseat all morning... finally she was free!!!

I'm soooooo excited I can't contain it.... let me fan my dress up & down & shriek!!

I'm off Mommy.... catch me if you can!!!

Okay... I'll stop but make it quick!! I see something that HAS to go in my mouth... I think it's a Cheerio.

In addition to the swingset they bought her a ball at the grocery store, and she now says her 2nd word 'Ba' for ball... so her 2 word vocabulary is 'MumMa' for Mommy & 'Ba' for ball.

9 Months Old & Weather Shift!!

HAPPY 9 MONTH BIRTHDAY MADALYNN VANESA!!!










Baby girl is 9 months old today!! I can't believe it. She is such a joy & delight, and just makes me laugh all day long. She is cutting her 2 top teeth, but is still just so joyous. She had her 9 month check up yesterday, and the doctor said she is doing great. Right on target developmentally, weighing in at almost 19lbs!! She is crawling everywhere now, and we keep a play-yard up in the living room for the most part to keep her contained.






In typical New England fashion we went from frigid winter to summer & skipped right over spring. This morning when I woke up the temp was about 32, by late this afternoon it was 80!! That's almost a 50 degree temp shift in less than 12 hours. So, this afternoon after work Mommy broke out the shortalls & sandals for baby girl, and we were off shopping!!!

Better Day

Today was a bit of a better day back at work... no tears today, so that's a big step. Although I think yesterday I cried them all out.

Madalynn had a better day too... napping, and being a good girl for Ga-Ga.

As for bonding, my sister-in-law reminded me that no matter what happens I will still be the first thing Madalynn sees in the morning, and the last thing she sees at night. I just love that!! She will know that Mommy may go away for awhile, but she always comes back.

I love being a Mom, even the tough times!!