Christmas card out-takes...

As I've mentioned Madalynn DOES not cooperate with the camera!!  She was better than usual yesterday morning in trying to get a picture for the Christmas card... here are some of the ones that didn't make the cut...

 

 

How did that happen?

How are we knocking on the door of December?  What happened to November?  November is in fact a blur.  Not sure why we weren't extraordinarily busy, although my heart has been soooo ready for Christmas.

We celebrated my Dad's 67th birthday.  My 5 year old niece, came to my house to decorate the cake with Madalynn... I gave them each pastry bags w/ frosting colors for them to decorate... they went to town...

Chatham the puppy also tried to help herself to cheese & crackers (I just love this dog, she's the sweetest thing).

Look at her little tongue sticking out.

 

We had a nice quiet Thanksgiving at my parents house.  Madalynn enjoyed it (especially getting to run around with her cousins).  I actually threw a football for probably the first time in my life in the backyard with my nephew Adam.  It was great fun, although I'll never figure out how to throw a spiral, and I have a new respect for those on any football field that catch those balls.  He has a good arm, and I was quite a girl when that ball came flying my way. 

I think these sunglasses make her look like Elton John... throw in the faux fur collar, and she's there.

This weekend we got the house all decked out for Christmas...

Madalynn found 2 of my "It's A Wonderful Life" ornaments, and decided those should be the gifts 2 of the wise men brought the baby Jesus...

 

Hanging up her stocking...

This is today going to get our tree with Ga-Ga & Grandpa...

This looks like a good one Mommy...

For some reason when we got home Madalynn thought the tree needed a once over with the Swiffer...

She is definitely in full-on TWO mode.  She can be quite a challenge at times, and then a complete love-bug the next.  She makes me laugh every day, and I am so thankful to be her Mommy.

 

A Thankful Heart

I can't believe this will be my THIRD Thanksgiving with Madalynn... my heart overflows.

I was just looking back at my blog from my Thanksgiving trip to the Westin 2007. 

I wrote this after I came home.

I loved this trip so much because I was really able to see Madalynn's personality. I know with certainty deep in my heart that she is meant to be my daughter. Our personalities seem so in sync. She has such a sweet, calm easy-going spirit, and is so content...

She is at that stage where she has discovered her hands, so she would just hold them in front of her face, and gaze at them from one to the other, and figure out how to get them into her mouth. Her hands are still so tiny, and I'm regretting I didn't get a close-up of them. She is cutting a tooth I could feel on her lower left gum, but given that she was teething she was not fussy at all. She still makes great little noises, and coos, and blows bubbles.

I have such sweet memories from that trip.  It was just her & I for a few days.  I also met some other adoptive families I'd only known online previously so it was wonderful to meet all of them.

This was also the time when things were getting unsettled with Guatemala adoptions, and there was much uncertainty as to whether or not adoptions would continue after December 31st of that year.  I just left with such an overwhelming peace that it would all be okay, and Madalynn would come home to me.  God gave me a peace that surpasses human understanding.

In the interest of walking down memory lane here are some pics from that trip...

 

Last November...

Last month...

 

Can't Wait

I feel like a little kid at Christmas again I'm so excited for Christmas this year. It's all I can do to wait until after Thanksgiving to begin decorating. My shopping is almost done, just a couple stocking stuffers (I LOOOVE that I have a stocking to fill for a little one), and a present for my nephew.

Let the hall trimming, cookie baking, tree decorating begin!!

We've already started wearing Christmas jammies (by 'We' I mean Madalynn), and watching "Polar Express" & "Charlie Brown Christmas".

I don't mean to be rushing it, but it's just so much fun with a little one. I even bought egg not today to make my egg nog latte's...

A Single Life

 

Disclaimer; I just want to preface this post by saying I know marriage isn't the 'fix-it' to life's challenges.  This is just my view from where I'm presently sitting.

 

Being a 35+ single was not my plan in life.  My plan was a husband, and a gaggle (is that a word?) of kids.  I always dreamed of having 5 boys, and 1 girl (the girl last).  I had a romanticized idea of what my life would be (a cross between the Waltons, and Leave it to Beaver but with all the modern day conveniences).

As I've often said God had a different plan for my life.    Here I am on the other side of 35 creeping closer to 40, with the joy of my heart... my daughter sleeping a few feet away .  She is my joy, and I love our life, and our little family.  I feel selfish, and ungrateful to ask for more than that.  Yet, everyday I say a prayer that says 'Lord, we need a man in this house'.   I long to have more children (adopted or non-adopted), and don't see a way to do that in my single state.  I also long to have a partner to share this journey with.

On, and off over the years I've dipped my toe into the online dating scene with no success.  A handful of dates, none that came to anything.  I've also explored 'single' support groups, things like "Parents without Partners", etc.   But, what I tend to find is that I'm a different kind of single parent... particularly a single Mom.  I'm a single parent by deliberate choice.  I didn't have a man walk out on me, I didn't have a husband pass away leaving me to face the challenges alone.  I CHOSE the path of single parenting.

Several people told me in the early stages of my adoption plan, that being a single parent would be hard.  I've never understood using the word hard to describe relationships.  It's not HARD for me to love the people who are important to me.

When people would say that to me I never thought the parenting thing would be hard, and as a single I don't think it's any harder than being half of a couple, and parenting.  I pray everyday for wisdom in raising my spirited daughter.

The aspect of single parenting I find to be hard, is the day-to-day things which now are more complicated as a single Mom.   Those day-to-day things were hard before too, as a single.  As I said now they are just more complicated.  Projects to be done around the house, financial/job concerns, decisions to be made, taking the trash out (I know it's cliche but this is something I HATE doing) all these thing existed pre-parenthood.

There is no partner here to carry the emotional (happy & sad), spiritual (high & low),  and financial burdens.  It all falls to me.  One of my lowest single moments was a few weeks ago walking out of the church behind my grandmother's casket alone.

Above all of this I ache to have a man that Madalynn calls Daddy.  She has such a special relationship to my Dad for which I am so thankful.   But having a male presence in our household, that person that

• Will encourage her to take more risks than Mommy's heart can handle (insert here... jumping off of furniture, scaling walls, participating in contact sports etc).
• Will throw her higher in the air than Mommy can.
• Will make her feel like a princess.
• Will teach her through his example how a man who loves, and respects her will treat her.

I do love our little life together, and know that if this remains a single parent household that will be okay.  I can do this, I've done it, and will continue to do so.  God is good, and I will trust Him.

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