Before The Dawn

I'm still trying to figure out what God is telling me.  My Mom asked me today "Are you praying about it?" to which I responded... 'Continually'.

It occurred to me after my last post, that the saying goes 'It's always darkest before the dawn'.  So maybe, God is about to reveal this part of my painting, and it will be clear. 

This darkness isn't a depression, or feeling of despair I'm living in, it's just a major area of my life that I have no vision of (and it's not my much blogged about state of singleness... it's a different area).  God has not revealed where He is leading me... the door or window haven't opened to light the way.

I'm wondering if I'm struggling with trust to a degree.  I've prayed for a spouse for 18 years or more, and I've never even come close.  So, in light of that unanswered petition am I reluctant to trust that God will provide in other areas? 

On the other hand, God has answered my long prayed for desire to be a Mom, in a miraculous way that still amazes me daily. 

I think in my humanness I'm inclined, and tempted to focus on the unanswered prayers. Or at the very least know He can be trusted, but He may take decades to answer.

However, I remind myself of the character of God the things I know to be true;

• God loves me.
• He has purposes beyond my own to allow or disallow events in my life.
• His word is true.
• He can be trusted.
• He has plans for me beyond what I can imagine.

So today I make a choice to trust.