Still a patch.... just not as rough...

As an update to my previous post regarding a rough patch while my circumstances haven't changed a bit of my perspective has.  In that I feel as if God is using this to push me out of my comfort zone into something else.  A proposition that is much scarier as a Mom, as my decisions don't just affect me, but affect my sweet girl too.  Life is more complicated now. 

For some reason too I'm feeling a disconnect between myself & God too.  As I was telling a close friend the other day, I haven't changed what I'm doing with the Lord, I'm still in prayer daily, and maybe that's the problem maybe I need to change something in my walk with Him.  I just feel this distance from Him during a time I'm really struggling.  My heart of faith tells me He's here... I know He's with me... that is faith.  The last big change in my life was Madalynn's adoption journey, and God came so close to me during that time... He held me so close, and I had the peace that passes all understanding.  I knew it would all be okay.  The time when it got scariest to bring her home was the time I had the strongest peace.  This time is completely opposite.  I have such fear, and lack of peace this time.  But again... I wake up each day, and choose to trust...

trust God is with me (even when I don't feel it)....

trust He is in control....

trust He has a plan, and this is His way of working that plan out. 

Two songs I'm listening to a lot right now are Mandisa's "He is With You", and Steven Curtis Chapman's "Jesus Will Meet You There"...   Not only do these songs remind me that Jesus is with me, but also help with my perspective... there are far greater challenges, and struggles people are facing than myself.  If you have a chance go over to YouTube & listen, or download on itunes.... both will uplift you!