Adoption in the news...

I'm sure you've seen the headlines regarding a Russian adoptee being sent back to Russia by his adoptive Mom in the headlines today.  As always, the negative adoption stories get the attention, and my heart aches for all involved.  I thought the statement by the  CEO of NCFA (National Council For Adoption), put this in wonderful perspective...

"Reacting to Russian officials' demands for a moratorium on intercountry adoptions, Johnson continues, 'This news sends a false picture of intercountry adoption that now jeopardizes the lives of other children. If the reports are true, Ms. Hanson made a terrible, inexplicable decision. Fortunately, this single act does not represent intercountry adoption as a whole, or the commitment that American parents make to their children. Clearly, justice must be served, but a moratorium on adoptions would only hurt more children.' "

Of course, Unicef latches on to these stories as reasons to shut down intercountry adoptions... Another quote from NCFA states...

"While the majority of internationally adopted orphans end up doing very well, adopting formerly institutionalized children is not without its challenges. Many of these children suffer physical and emotional challenges as a result of the shortcomings often found with institutional care. "

Again, Unicef's answer is to keep children in institutions longer so long as the child is being kept in his/her own country.  In the case of Guatemala children being placed for adoption used to be cared for in foster homes with stable family units as opposed to institutions.

To my knowledge since Guatemala shut down over 2 years ago so did the use of foster care, and the creation of institutional care for these children, and in those 2+ years no new adoptions have taken place.   Which is heartbreaking to me.

Study after study has shown that children do much better in a home environment as opposed to an institution.  Even the best of institutions can't take the place of a home/family environment.

Please pray that the one decision by this overwhelmed woman doesn't prevent 1,000s of other children from being placed in loving, caring homes.  Also, pray that this story doesn't deter families considering adoption.  It is one of the most amazing journey's, and for me God's greatest gift.

Hope...

I'm sure you all heard the amazing story of the father who jumped into the East River to save his 2 year old daughter who had fallen 20 feet over the side of a ship, she & her family were touring.  This was the account given by witnesses to the reaction of the girls father...

Right away, the girl's father was racing across the ship's deck...(he) dove into the water and brought his daughter to the river's surface.

I cry everytime I read or think about this story as I can't help but think that's how God reacts to us.  We are like that helpless 2 year old.  Drowning in unbelief, in despair, in addiction, in loneliness, in illness.  God our father will stop at nothing to save us... to reach us.  He doesn't stand on the side of the pier, and lecture us for not listening, or for being careless, and we should have known better than to get ourselves into this situation.  He doesn't begin to research what is the best way to get us out, and offer advice, He doesn't just throw a lifeline or a life raft.  No, God OUR Father jumps right into the water WITH us.  He is WITH us, He is experiencing all that we are.  The difference is He has the strength, and wisdom to get us out.  He holds us close, assures us that He's got us, and it will all be okay.

I've been feeling like that little girl lately... overwhelmed, and drowning in the demands of life.  Right now I feel like I'm sinking, but I know my Father is with me even if I can't see, hear, or feel Him.  That is what faith is.  I'm trusting He'll pull me out these murky waters.

This is one of my favorite passages of scripture to hold onto when I have feelings of despair. It's from Lamentations 3:

21 Yet this I call to mind
       and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
       therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
       to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
       for the salvation of the LORD.

³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
       so great is his unfailing love.

³³ For he does not willingly bring affliction
       or grief to the children of men.

With all that said, I'm also going to focus on what I have to be thankful for...

• My Madalynn
• My family
• Dear friends
• A job that provides for us.
• A roof over my head.
• Food to eat.
• Living in a country where I'm free to write things like this without fear of persecution.
• A relationship with God my father.

Spring

We're still here... life has been hectic, and busy... I have a couple serious posts in the works, but for now just an update with lots of pics. 

After March was full of rain, we finally got some sunshine, and warmth... I love spring!! 

Our Easter weekend was busy but fun... lots of time spent with family...

First year we decorated egg...

 

 

All the decorating was just exhausting...

The final product...

Her basket ready for Easter morning...As she gets older I want to balance getting her to understand that Easter is about soooo much more than a filled basket, eggs, and chocolate.

Her favorite thing was the binoculars...

Ready for church...

 

Later at Aunty & Uncle's house the hunt begins!!!

Grandpa lends a helping hand...

This was my niece's basket...

I hope you had a blessed Easter, and a renewed appreciation of the hope in the empty tomb... He is Risen!!

To Curious George we go...

Madalynn's surprise today was I took her to see "Curious George Live"... she was mesmerized with everything, it did get a little boring for her about halfway through she told me she wanted to go 'Buh-Bye", I thought the intermission would help, but we left shortly thereafter... I won't go into all the drama around 1)finding the theater, and 2) getting back in the parking garage that was locked when we came out of the show, in a not so nice part of town, but it all worked out in the end.

A little love for George...

I've never been able to really find jeans for her, and I just love this pair!!  They fit reasonably well too (still have a waistline shortly below the buddah-belly) but they don't seem too uncomfortable... it cracks me up b/c they're the kind you can roll up to make capri, or leave down for full length... as you can see on her rolled up capri is full length...

Watching the show.... I wish I could have gotten a little further away to get this shot, but she wouldn't let me leave her side...

730 part 2...

We didn't do anything particularly special today... basically just spent the day together.  I had to work for a few hours this morning, then we went to Target, Wal-Mart, and for a quick visit at Ga-Ga & Grandpa's.  Tomorrow is our real celebration day... I haven't told her what we're doing yet, but that it's something special, then some family are coming over for cake & ice cream.

I tried to get some pictures of her at my parents new apartment... The house has great character for photos, and she was sooo uncooperative I couldn't really get the lighting right... which was amazing, but she wasn't letting me adjust the settings on my camera before running off....

My Mom bought her some new sneakers or 'Neekers' as Madalynn calls them, and I think she would sleep in them if I let her.  I so remember that feeling when I was little of how exciting it was to get new shoes...

You can see them a bit in this picture... notice she's running AWAY from the camera...

Even better in this picture...

Enjoying her Munchkin or "Magnic" as she calls it after we left Wal-Mart.... there's a Dunkin Donuts IN our Wal-Mart...

Not an eventful day, just a day of being together... it was wonderful... Tonight as she was brushing her teeth she said "I had a great day Mumma"...

All day I've been thinking ok... at this time 2 years I was...I so clearly remember that feeling of getting back to our room after I picked her up... wondering how things would go, wondering if she would become hysterical being with this stranger.  I so remember her fussyness, and pushing away from me, not screaming, wailing crying, more of just being fussy, and not accepting comfort... she did eventually fall asleep, and then we had a repeat at bedtime.  Each day got better, and I started getting smiles... so much of that trip is so precious to me... Things I will keep in my heart and treasure. 

 

730 Days...

730 days= 2 years... that's how long Madalynn & I have been together.  Two years ago today in a small room off the lobby of the Westin Hotel in Guatemala City her foster mother handed this little baby in turquoise overalls with pink roses to me, and nothing has been the same since. 

We have a few celebrations planned for this weekend... I can't wait!!  So many emotions it's such a special day in the adoption journey...I'll post more later.  Hopefully (keep your fingers crossed) I'll be able to get a self portrait later....

Her heart...

I worry about my daughter's heart... what mother doesn't?  I pray she'll have a heart that hunger, and thirsts for God, I pray she'll have a heart that will remember the moments of uncontrolled giggles, and playtime, a sense of warmth, joy, and security from her growing up years.  I pray she won't remember the moments when her Mommy gets angry or impatient.

As a child who was adopted she's suffered two losses of caregivers already in her young life.  First the loss of her birthmother.  A mother who carried her for 9 months, a woman she got to know.  She spent 9 months learning her birthmothers moods, voice, laughter, and tears.   Then the loss of her foster mother who cared for her for nearly the first 8 months of her life.  She was a part of that family unit for those 8 months.  Her first Christmas was with them, sharing in their customs, and traditions.  I am always mindful of these 2 early influences in her life.

While I no longer worry about her attaching & bonding to me, I feel very confident in our bond.  I do worry about how those early losses will affect her.  I wonder sometimes if some of her behavior stems from that on some level.  Will she struggle with fear of me leaving, or will she become fiercely independent as a defense mechanism? 

Last night after she'd fallen asleep I heard her say (yes she talks in her sleep)... "Wait for me!"...hearing her little voice say that, just cut through me, brings tears even now.  I knew it had something to do with a dream she was having, and I know dreams are a reflection of what's going on internally.  She does say that phrase often... she ALWAYS says it when I want to run in the basement quick for something...Maybe she was just having a dream that I was going in the basement, and she wanted to come with me, even so it was obviously on her mind.  One thing is for sure... from now on I will ALWAYS wait for her when I go in the basement.

I want to do everything in my power to continually reassure her that I'm her 'forever & ever' Mommy...  I want to be a better mother... I want to be a kinder mother.  That's the prayer for MY heart.