Madalynn had a fabulous Easter… she had a great day, and crashed & burned as soon as I got her into bed…
Yesterday we dyed the Easter eggs, something she could HARDLY wait to do!
Easter morning…
Don’t ask about the hair…
After church it was off to Ga-Ga & Grandpa’s for a delicious meal, and then the HUNT was on!!
We hope you all had a blessed Resurrection Sunday with your family & friends!!
I watched the‘Veggie Tales’ movie “Where is God When I’m Afraid?” for the first time a few weeks ago, and in it is a song called “God is bigger than the boogeyman”…. Lately God has been slaying a lot of my boogeymen. Fear has held me captive, and in bondage for so long, and now God in His grace has brought me out of that stronghold to a place of peace… interestingly that place of peace also holds fear of the unknown, but it’s not the bondage kind of fear… it’s the top of the crest of the roller coaster fear… it’s scary… my heart is in my throat… I’m white knuckled holding onto the bar… BUT… I’m beside myself excited… knowing the thrill, and experience will be more than worth the price of admission.
We serve a VERY BIG God… His power, and wisdom know no bonds. Yet, we as believers (and I’m at the top of the class when it comes to this), are so scared so timid to step out, and tap that power. God is waiting expectantly, anxiously to reveal to us His power, and His wisdom in all things. Why don’t we dream bigger dreams? Why don’t we ask for bigger miracles?
I’m taking the first timid steps to a big dream. God may slam the doors shut, and I pray He does if this isn’t His path for me. They’re very big doors so I know it will be crystal clear!
I think of Peter in the storm. He calls out to Jesus, and Jesus calls him to come to him, as long as Peter keeps His focus on Jesus he can walk on water. I love this quote from Max Lucado about when Peter calls out to Jesus….
(Peter) wasn’t being cocky. He wasn’t demanding proof. He was scared. Like me, he knew what this storm could do. He knew that the boat would soon go down. He knew that Jesus was standing up. And he knew where he wanted to be . . .
Peter wanted to be close to Jesus…. he couldn’t trust the boat, his friends couldn’t save him they had to save themselves… his eyes, and desire went to the one person He knew had the power to save Him.
A few months back I posted about my feelings of despair with the new year (click here to read it, and another one here). That time was so dark… I was choosing to trust, but not feeling it. I was making a choice each day to trust in the promises of God even though I didn’t feel them… I just had to trust based on a lifetime of following Him, and what His word said.
Since then God has called me out of the boat, and walk to Him… the storm is still raging, and the waves can be overwhelming, but I’m going to the One who can save me. I am soooo excited for this next chapter, and I’m so thankful, and praiseful (is that a word?) that God has been faithful to bring me out of that darkness into a world of new possibilities, and excitement, and promise of new possibilities!
DREAM BIG!
Just a little Madalynn love to end this post… because I just adore this girl!!
This was tonight’s activity… I talked her in to putting the bean bag chair down instead of just jumping off the chair. She’s also taken to wearing costumes lately which I just love. The jumping pictures are in her bathing suit from last summer. The lower ones are in her first Halloween costume that is sized 12-18mos! I had gotten all the pieces out to try to sell in an upcoming yard sale, but since it still fits she has re-claimed it as a new play costume. Don’t tell her but I’m still hoping to sneak it into the yard sale.
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
— Max Lucado
God’s already begun the work to get me there! I’m so excited for him to lead me to the next door He has ready!
I’m not sure why but I’m very reflective today… I keep thinking back to my pick up trip 3 years ago right now. All the details are still so fresh. I flew in on Weds of that week, Madalynn was placed with me on Thursday, we had our embassy day on Friday, my Dad flew in on Saturday, I got Madalynn’s passport on Monday, and we flew home on Tuesday… that time was so precious. This also got me looking back at pictures from that trip, and the trips before… those trips are more than precious to me.
First trip August 2007… she was such a tiny peanut… 6 weeks old. I had no idea what to do with a baby… I was so glad my Mom & Dad were with me. Amazing how Mommy instincts took over. I was a pro at sterilizing bottles in a hotel bathroom sink (thanks to the advice of other Moms who had traveled before). There was a crib at the foot of my bed in the hotel room… I had her in there the first night, but each time I’d get up to feed her I’d just end up putting her in bed with me, so that’s what happened. Her arm would reach over each night for me. When it came time to leave I was fighting a double tooth infection, and now was doing the ugly cry as I handed her back to her foster mom.
2nd trip Thanksgiving 2007… There were lots of questions regarding Guatemala adoptions at this time, and strong predictions they would be shut down as of Dec 31, 2007. Those of us in process weren’t sure if our cases would be grandfathered or part of the shutdown… I went down for Thanksgiving because I missed her, and had a mothers ache to see her. Thankfully, cases were allowed to continue, and she came home in March 2008. Unfortunately, there are still hundreds of ‘grandfathered’ cases still awaiting that precious pick-up trip to bring their children home. Sadly, Guatemala is still shut down to international adoption, and no new cases have taken place. Guatemala now suffers from the highest malnutrition rate in Central America… 2nd only to Africa internationally.
I also took the opportunity of this trip to take pictures for our Christmas card… after all my single years I was so excited to finally send out a ‘family’ card….
I LOOOOVED this dress… I still have it. She didn’t like the camera even then.
Then the pick up trip… 3 years ago this week… I can’t imagine my life without this spunky, headstrong, goofy, attack life at full speed girl!
LOOOOK at those piggy toes….
On the airplane… heading to America!!!
On the job front… I’m not sure what is in store, but I have such a peace, and feel as if God is just holding us right in the palm of His hand. He knows our needs before we even ask for them! Of course, I think this would be awesome timing for my Kinsman Redeemer to show up… but my time is not God’s time.
Today is our 3rd forever & ever day…. Ohhhhh how I love this girl, and being her Mommy… I ask her almost everyday “How did I get so blessed to be your Mommy?”…. I also ask her when she wakes up “Did you grow more cuteness while you were sleeping?” as she gets cuter to me everyday (I know that’s boastful, but I’m a proud Mom, and this is my blog).
To celebrate our special day I took her to “The Children’s Museum” in Boston…I got passes at our library so the cost fit into my now unemployed budget. She had a ball!!
Her favorite exhibit combined 2 of her favorite things… WATER (she would spend HOURS playing in the sink if I let her), and “Peep & The Big Wide World”.
Of course there was her other favorite activity… CLIMBING….
When we went into the bathroom… she got sooooo excited…”Look Mommy… they have a sink MY size”…. well… almost.
Then we were leaving it was really warm out… almost 50!! There were some ducks & a swan in the water, and Madalynn loved throwing chunks of ice in the water (NOT at the water fowl)…
Tonight we’re having dinner with the family & a small cake…. Happy Forever & Ever Day baby girl!!
God is holding me up… not just emotionally, and spiritually, but physically as well. I lost my job yesterday.
God knew this was coming long before I did, and as I reflect back I see His preparing a support system to surround me, and hold me up… I feel such peace…. some in the world would call it denial… but I know it’s peace. That’s not to say I don’t have moments when the fear, and doubt creep in, I was awake for several hours last night, but I’m able to fight them back with the peace. I’ve had counsel from 2 different sources in the last 24 hours that have said …. lean in to Him…stay close to Him… rest your head on His shoulder…. so that’s what I’m choosing…. trusting this …another closed door is His faithfulness keeping me on the path He has laid out for me before the stars were hung in the sky.
The Steven Curtis Chapman song is in my heart & mind tonight… “Be Still & Know” … if you’ve never heard this song track it down on youtube, or itunes… it’s quite powerful. This is the verse I’m clinging to…
Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for his little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still
Be still
Just to leave a little Madalynn luv… This is the face we get when she wants something… a smile… tilt of the head… her hands are usually clasped too… and a big…. “Peeezzzze”….
One other sad note… Nemo (Madalynn’s little beta fish) left this world today… she wasn’t too traumatized… although at bedtime she kept saying… “I miss Nemo… he was such a good little fish….” A picture from the day we got him. Thanks for being such a good little fish Nemo….
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